Vanier Institute of the Family -- Virtual Library - Transition Magazine - Back Issues

A kid on a skateboard. He was maybe 15, 16 at the most. I saw him ahead of me on the sidewalk one Fall evening in Vancouver. As an adult, I had no real reason to notice a kid who looked, in his baggy clothes, like so many other teenage boys. I concentrated on getting to my destination: a free lecture on Carl Jung. It was hardly the kind of event where I expected to see any teenagers—but there he was: skateboard tucked under his arm, walking into the theatre. He sat alone, near the back. I sat near the front and at one point asked the lecturer what Jung thought of God. At the end of the evening, as soon as people stood to leave, the young skateboarder appeared at my side to ask me, "Do you believe in God?"

He looked at me so intently, so expectantly, that I knew the question had great significance for him. He seemed to think I might be able to help him decide what to believe. My uncertain answer probably disappointed him, but he listened respectfully as we moved towards the exit. Once outside, he thanked me, jumped on his skateboard, and sped away. Now, whenever I imagine someone on a spiritual quest, I think of a teenage boy on a skateboard.

The point of my story is that young people have more going on in their hearts and minds than we usually give them credit for. This issue of Transition is about their complexity, their abilities, and their willingness to wrestle with the problems of life.

First, in "Young Canadians: The Big Picture," we draw on a range of resources for information about—and quotations from—Canadians in their teens and early twenties.

In our next article, "Community and the Relevance of Children," David Millen asks why young people are excluded from much of what goes on in their own communities, and why we so seldom ask for their contributions and opinions.

And finally, in "Wired: The Impact of Electronic Media in the Home," Arlene Moscovitch looks at the role of television, computers and video games in the lives of today's youth and families.

A teenager is a quick-change artist—physically, emotionally and intellectually. Change means unpredictability, which makes me and many of my fellow adults uncomfortable. And when something makes us uncomfortable, we tend to avoid it or see only what fits into a stereotype. Judging from what many teenagers say about how we're treating them, they're not only aware of these tendencies, they're insulted—and quite rightly at times. My niece recently complained that grownups dismiss her opinions as being those of a teenager, as if her age invalidates her views.

Increasingly in Canada, we are segregating society into distinct age groups. Instead of letting teenagers be what they are simultaneously children and adults—we say no to both options. Feeling hurried out the door of childhood but not yet accepted into the world of adults, teenagers sense that "being 'teenaged' is the only social identity open to them," says cultural commentator Margaret Visser. "They therefore try to be, and to look like, something completely different from every group but their own."

Denied an identity based on who they are as individuals, teenagers become less able to resist acting out their society's negative stereotype of teenager as criminal, smoker, drinker and all-round troublemaker. Meanwhile, the role of rampant consumer is being pushed on them by those who see youth primarily as a market. What's worse, young people are bombarded every day by unhealthy images of what it means to be masculine or feminine.

After seven years of being isolated in their own teenage world, without a thorough initiation into the adult world, what happens when teenagers hit their twenties? Between the limiting of their social opportunities, and the worsening of their employment opportunities, young Canadians seem to be finding the transition to adulthood tougher these days. Some are confused and depressed about relationships. Others are anxious about the future, wondering if they can make it in our competitive world. And more and more young adults languish in a kind of prolonged adolescence as they choose to delay—or are forced to delay—the usual rites of passage: finishing school, establishing a career, moving out on their own, getting married and having children.

And yet, despite all these challenges, on the whole, Canada's young people remain remarkably resilient, resourceful and good-hearted. That much is evident, if we look at the facts and listen to what youths have to say for themselves.

For most young people, getting a good job is the ultimate goal. But reaching that goal seems to be an even more formidable task than it was for past generations, especially in less prosperous parts of Canada.

"The proportion of teenagers who have never held a job has been growing in the 1990s, as a result of both the recession during the first part of the decade and changes in the nature of the jobs being created. Many low-skilled and manual jobs have been lost in the 1990s, and the new jobs being created frequently require high levels of skills—a factor that appears to be making it harder for teens in their high school years to find paid work."

"You can't be motivated when you know there is no opportunity to work." (Tom, 23)

"A concern that affects [many] students is the significant drop in their rate of summer employment—down from nearly 65% 1989 to about 45% in 1997. Given young people's needs and wishes to gain work experience, acquire spending money, or save for their college education, the failing rate of student summer employment signals an alarm."

"I just finished a degree in engineering and spent the whole summer managing a pool. What scares me is that there are people with two or three degrees who are still working in retail." (Stephanie, 22, Ottawa)

"I don't know what I want to do, but I know I'm going to have to move to get the jobs. You're not going to find anything here." (Janell, 15, Sydney)

The good news is that in 1998 youth employment grew by 7%—"the best showing in 20 years" (Statistics Canada, The Daily). However, many jobs do not pay well enough to cover the cost of tuition and other normal expenses.

"I was good in school, so they told me to take math and science. It wasn't until I paid to see a professional career counsellor that I figured out what I really wanted to do." (Sophie, 23, Montreal)

"I think of it as the 20/60/20 per cent rule'," says Janis Foord Kirk, a columnist and author of several books on careers in the 90s. "The top 20 per cent of young people—those who get the desirable jobs—are highly educated, have the right skills and are extremely pro-active in career management. The bottom 20 per cent often have poor attitudes, weak social skills and little or no education. Society focuses on this group when discussing social policy and training requirements."

"Foord Kirk believes that decision-makers should be assisting the 60 per cent of young people who 'generally have good training [but] no focused career goals. They're often handicapped by a lack of experience and they tend to follow the path of least resistance. Intervention would help this group a great deal.'"

"I want to do work that betters the world. I see myself working in a community-based organization developing programs for under-represented sectors of society. The government is also something that has always fascinated me; perhaps I could work at developing policies." (Samira Rahmani, 17, Toronto)

"I hope to be a successful businesswoman. Business seems to be the nitty-gritty, deep-rooted earth upon which everything in our nation thrives. Business runs the show from the moment your favorite radio station wakes you up in the morning, through to the clothes you put on, the lunch you eat, right down to your evening musical or television choices." (Rebecca Ross, 17, Scarborough)

Doing volunteer work is one way for young people to jump-start their careers. Volunteering allows young people to contribute to their communities while gaining experience, making contacts, and exploring their own abilities. In a recent national survey, almost a quarter of 15-to-24-year-old volunteers said their volunteer activities had helped them find employment.

The volunteer rate for this age group almost doubled from 18% to 33% between 1987 and 1997. Canadian youth support a variety of recreation and social clubs, and religious and social service organizations, with activities such as fundraising, organizing events, teaching, and protecting the environment.

—adapted from Caring Canadians, Involved Canadians: 1997 National Survey of Giving, Volunteering and Participating

Young people today know that the surest route to a good job is a good education. According to Youth at Work in Canada, "There has been a marked increase in the number of young people staying in school and for longer periods of time. For instance, in 1995 approximately 75% of 18-year-olds were in school, while in 1981, only about half of this group were still students."

Young women are leading the education drive, as described in The Progress of Canada's Children: "Young women's overall education levels are rising to the point where they are outstripping those of young men. Just over half of women aged 20 to 29 had earned a degree or diploma by 1996, compared to 42% of their male peers."

Unfortunately, the cost of a post-secondary education is rising, with students paying higher tuition fees, and going deeper into debt. One way a student can improve his or her chances of finding work after graduation, and avoid a heavy debt load, is to choose a co-operative program, combining work and study. Compared to non-co-op graduates, co-op graduates finish school with less debt, find jobs more easily, and earn more money.

"I always have a good time. Lots of teenagers hang out at the mall. It's like walking around in a big TV set," says 13-year-old Brendan. Brendan has lots to say about malls and teenage consumerism in All the Right Stuff, a National Film Board documentary. The video puts the role of youth in today's corporate economy into perspective as the camera follows Brendan around his local mall. Interviews with shoppers, retailers, and members of popular bands provide insight into how the music and clothing industries target young people, and how the pressure to consume affects their lives.

For advertisers today, young people represent a huge, lucrative market. "Last year," says Maclean's, "nine- to 19-year-olds spent an astonishing $13.5 billion in Canada." They may have to depend on allowances and cash gifts, or low-paying, service-sector jobs, but as Brendan says, "I pay no rent. My income is 100 percent disposable."

Judging from many of the comments in the video, teenagers do recognize the manipulative nature of advertising. One young man says:

Even Brendan, who is only 13, is surprisingly aware of the market forces involved in youth culture, though the knowledge doesn't keep him from dropping $200 of birthday money in one day:

An older teen girl also complains about advertising that's directed at segments of the youth market, such as skateboarders:

Once into their late teens or early twenties, some young people regret the rampant consumerism of their younger days. One young woman remembers:

Making the transition from child to adult is challenging, at best. At worst, it can pose serious threats to mental health. For teens having trouble coping, it may help to know they're not alone, and that things will get easier as they mature.

"I have mood swings all the time. One bad thing happens to me and I'm depressed. One good thing happens to me and I'm happy. I worry about the impression I give my friends. I don't have the balls to do something that they would look down on. I should. (Max, 15)

"Although the majority of teens report that they feel happy about life, significantly fewer girls and young women than boys and young men feel self-confident. On the positive side, rates of selfconfidence among both boys and girls have increased since 1989.

"Unfortunately, loneliness and depression are experienced by a significant minority of Canadian youth. These feelings peak between the ages of 15 and 19.

"The starkest outcome of depression is suicide—the second leading cause of injury-related death among teens. The suicide rate among Canadian male teens increased by 400 per cent between 1960 and 1991—from 5 per 1 00,000, to 23 per 1 00,000. While young women's suicide rates are much lower than men's, they are hospitalized more frequently for attempted suicide.'"

"My brother was really depressed for about three years. Now he is OK and I'm sure it's because he finally found what he was good at in life." (Sophie, 22, Montreal)

"At 15, I was at the end of my mental rope. This world had nothing for me. I overdosed. When I awoke the next morning, I was furious to be alive. [I] began intensive therapy which helped me face my memories of abuse." (Christine, 24)

Depression in young people could be linked to consumption of alcohol, which is a depressant. "Alcohol remains the drug of choice for young people. In 1996, 72 per cent of youth aged 15 to 19 drank alcohol regularly or occasionally, and almost 60 per cent of these were regular drinkers. Eighty-six per cent of young people aged 20 to 24 were drinkers. Young men in both age groups were more likely than young women to be regular drinkers" (The Progress of Canada's Children).

"Peer pressure. If you go to a party or something and they have beer, they keep nagging you to drink it." (Ben, I4)

"I'll go to my brother when I need an unbiased opinion. We talk about stuff. Mom and Dad, what's happening with us, new friends, boyfriends, girlfriends. He asks me for advice. I'm glad I have a brother." (Debra, 18)

Happily, more than 90 per cent of young people aged 12 to 24 say they have someone they can confide in. Unhappily, they sometimes find it hard to open up, even with people they trust.

"Talking with close friends is definitely one way to deal with problems, but I'm also guilty of just sucking in problems and not discussing them." (Dan, 21, Ottawa)

"I talk to my parents, but don't tell them what I'm doing or anything." (Amber, 14, Sydney)

"One of my best friends was with a guy I didn't like. He was very controlling and abusive. After she finally woke up, she talked to me about it, but not while she was in the relationship." (Stephanie, 22)

"I was harassed for three months at school when I was fourteen. His threats escalated until he attacked me and I got the police involved. My advice is: stay away from bullies, but if you do get in trouble, find someone you trust and tell them. Don't try stalling like I did because it doesn't go away. You aren't a wimp if you go to someone for help." (Kevin, 19)

"The hardest part about coming out is telling something that's so deep in your heart with the realization that at any point they could 'You're immoral; you're wrong.' But what's wonderful is that finally you're not lying." (a youth)

"My sister is gay. No big deal. When [she] told me, I think she thought I would be disgusted, but I couldn't be happier for her because now she is happy and can be herself." (Erin, 14)

"A school nurse mentioned in a sex education discussion that some people were heterosexual and some were homosexual. A 15-year-old girl who had been contemplating suicide because she felt attracted to other women changed her mind about killing herself. "No one had ever legitimized her feelings before."

A negative body image troubles many young people, often from a very young age. It's an issue that affects both sexes, though males and females tend to deal with it differently.

"I think about it and watch what I eat. Guys don't worry about it much, they eat what they want. If you try to look like someone in a magazine, you can get sick." (Laura, 14, Ottawa)

"About 15 per cent of young people aged 20 to 24 are overweight. However, nearly 30 per cent of young women in this age group think they are overweight, compared to 17 per cent of young men." Surprisingly, "among young women in their twenties, the proportion who erroneously consider themselves to be overweight increases with education and income levels."

"Daniel sees himself as obese, as the fat kid. He isn't fat-he's just bigger than his friends. In adolescence, any difference is considered wrong. I know Daniel is embarrassed by his weight. When he goes swimming, he won't take off his shirt. In a way, body image problems are worse for boys. Girls say, 'Oh, I hate my thighs. Oh, my stomach is so fat.' Boys don't talk about how they feel about their bodies. The only time they talk about it is when they tease." (Ann, Mother of 13-year-old Daniel)

More and more young adults are staying in their parents' home, or returning to the nest after a brief flight to independence. "Since 1981, the percentage of adults in their twenties and early thirties living in the parental home has been increasing," say Monica Boyd and Doug Norris in their article "The Crowded Nest" (Canadian Social Trends). Twenty-eight percent of all Canadians aged 20-34 live with Mom and/or Dad, up from 21% in 1981.

For unmarried Canadians in this age category, living in the parental home is actually the norm, at 56% of men and 47% of women. Most young adults leave home when they find a partner, but even young couples are increasingly opting to stay with either his or her parents.

The phenomenon of more young adults living with their parents reflects a number of social and economic changes in Canada, including young people's tendencies to stay in school longer, and to delay marriage. Our increasing cultural diversity may also be a factor, as such living arrangements are more common in some ethnic and immigrant groups than in others.

Money is of course a major factor. The recessions of the eighties and early nineties hit young people very hard and, as Boyd and Norris say, "Living with parents can be one of the ways in which young adults respond to unemployment, relatively low wages, or low incomes while attending school."

For many young people, there's also the simple fact that they enjoy their parents' company. In a brochure called Boomerang Kids: When Adult Children Return Home, Carolyn Bergmann-Usher of the BC Council for Families says, "Today, parents are closer to their adult children than ever before. They were young adults themselves when the pill was invented, they were the first generation to rock and their attitudes are often similar to their kids'." Nevertheless, having an adult son or daughter return home after years away can be disruptive for parents. Boomerang Kids outlines ways to make a "boomerang" situation work for all concerned.

Joining a club or support group can be a great way for youth to meet their peers, to accomplish shared goals such as finding a job, or to give and receive encouragement and advice on dealing with life's challenges. Somewhere, there's a group for everyone, whether it's a filmmakers' co-op, a book club, a support group for young people with cancer or alcoholic parents, or a club for kids who love hiking, writing or skateboarding.

Sixteen-year-old Daric belongs to a support group for teenage fathers: "A lot of times I feel like I can't make it any more. I need support, and I don't get it at home much. I get a lot of support in the group. It helps a lot knowing I'm not the only one in this situation. It makes me feel a lot better" (Teen Dads).

The public library and the Internet are two good sources for finding out about groups. For example, the Youth Resource Network of Canada—a website that offers career information includes links to community resources such as a job-finding club in London, Ontario (see www.youth.gc.ca).

"I believe the struggles we face as young people can be overcome with hard work and endurance. If we continue to support and encourage one another we can do anything!" (Stacy Hill, President, Aboriginal Youth Council)

"Canada's youth face many challenges in today's society. Aboriginal youth face all of the same challenges, as well as racism, cultural anxiety and isolation.

"The National Association of Friendship Centres (NAFC) works to improve the quality of life of Aboriginal peoples in urban environments." Through its Aboriginal Youth Council, the NAFC" is working to empower Aboriginal youth with youth programming and meaningful youth participation in the decision-making processes at all levels.

"The youth movement has grown immensely and its strength can be attributed to the participation of youth within local Friendship Centres. The summer job initiative has been extremely successful."

Canada has 115 Friendship Centres.
For more information, see www.nafc-aboriginal.com,
or contact the NAFC at 275 MacLaren Street,
Ottawa, Ontario K2P OL9
(ph 613-563-4844, fax 613-594-3428).

"My neighbourhood is like a werewolf. During the day there is lots of stuff to do, but once it's dark, it becomes 'kid unfriendly' teenagers hang out, smoking and swearing." (Robby, 13)

"Having a healthy economy is the main thing to prevent youth crime. You need to create opportunities so youth have direction and a stake in life and more to lose if they take risks or do negative things." (Tom, 23)

"Contrary to popular belief, youth crime is neither widespread, nor is it rising. Just the opposite, in fact. In 1997 less than 5% of young Canadians aged 12 to 17 were charged with a federal statute offence. And the rate of youths charged has been declining steadily since 1991."

That's the good news reported by Statistics Canada. The not-so-good news is that, although the overall youth crime rate has fallen, violent crimes account for a higher percentage of the charges against young people. Back in 1987, only 9% of youth criminal charges involved a violent offence. By 1997 that figure had doubled to about 18%.

To put the rising violent crime rate in perspective, it must be pointed out that youthful criminals are still far more likely to have been involved in property offences such as theft, or break and enter. And when a young person is charged with a so-called "violent" offence, it's typically common assault, which "includes pushing, slapping, punching, and face-to-face verbal threats."

Also, a rise in the rate of youths charged with violent offences does not necessarily mean youths are becoming more violent. "Some experts question whether these figures indicate a real rise in violent crime or simply changing attitudes, resulting in an increase in the reporting of crime, particularly common assault. For example, 'zero tolerance' strategies have meant that students involved in a schoolyard fight, who would previously have been disciplined by the school principal, are now more likely to be dealt with by the police."

Is Canada soft on youth crime?

"There is a persistent public view that [our] justice system is 'soft' on young people who break the law. In fact, Canadian youth are treated relatively harshly. Canada incarcerates young people at four times the rate of adults, despite the fact that adults commit the majority of violent crimes. Canada also incarcerates far more young people than most Western countries, despite the fact that very few youth are involved in serious, repeat offences and many have histories of abuse or serious life trauma."
—Canada's Children

"Lack of knowledge about sex is often a problem. It's sometimes surprising how little people know" (Denise, 18, a volunteer with a sex help line)

51% of females and 43% of males aged 15 to 19 have had sexual intercourse. These 1996 figures are down significantly from 1990 (National Population Health Survey). However, teens who are sexually active are starting younger and often know less about sex and its consequences than they think they do. Some know the facts, but don't yet have the maturity to act accordingly.

"We are pretty well informed about safe sex, but we don't necessarily practise it." (Stephanie, 22, Ottawa)

Dating can be wonderful, but it can also be hazardous, especially for young women. In a recent survey, nearly a third of university and college women reported that a dating partner had sexually abused them during the previous year. And, "Among young male university and college students, 11 per cent said they had forced a woman into sexual activity during a date, and 14 per cent reported that they had been physically violent in a dating relationship" (The Progress of Canada's Children).

The rate of some sexually transmitted infections has decreased since 1990, "but the rates are still high and young people are still at greatest risk," according to The Progress of Canada's Children. Another concern is the fact that "the teen pregnancy rate has increased—from 41 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19 in 1987, to 47 per 1,000 in 1995—creating health and social risks for teen mothers and their children."

"I was only 15 when I discovered I was pregnant. I dreaded telling my parents. I rehearsed over and over, and suddenly I told my mother: 'You're not going to like this and I'm sorry, but I'm going to have a baby'. At first she was upset and angry. She cried, and I cried. But even so, it was such a relief having told her. And when she and my father got over the shock, they did everything they could to help me.' (Theresa, 16)

"When Breanna cried, I'd pick her up, walk around with her. That felt real good when she'd quit crying when I picked her up. She knew she was safe in my arms.
"I'm always in the house because if I go somewhere, I might get in trouble. I used to always hang around my friends and do dumb stuff, and now I realize I've got someone to take care of. (Hugo, 16, talking about his 9-month-old daughter)

"The proportion of young parents and their children who live below the low-income cut-off has nearly doubled. On the positive side, the number of young parents enrolled in school has tripled since 1981. This may provide them with a better chance of eventually raising their incomes than was the case 15 years ago."

"There's been a lot of discussion recently about our teenagers getting out of hand," stated the Gallup organization when it asked Canadians "for their opinions as to why teens were 'acting up'." The year? 1955. The teens in question were the older siblings of today's Baby Boomers.

This example, from Reginald Bibby's The Bibby Report: Social Trends Canadian Style, illustrates that, as concerned as we may be about the young people of today, "it's important not to lose perspective. Concern about young people seems to characterize every generation, who anxiously envision that 'the latest crop' will turn out worse than the last one."

Complaints about ungovernable youth actually date back to at least the eighth century B.C. Of course, the fact that past generations had the same concerns we have now doesn't mean we should be complacent about today's youth. But taking the longer view can help us to "guard against both hyperbole and hysteria," as Dr. Bibby says.

Young people do make mistakes, and sometimes the results can be tragic. The death of five teenagers in a traffic accident this year led 16-year-old Jessica to write to her local newspaper about the shock of realizing that she and her peers are not invincible. Still, she encouraged other teens not to let fear keep them from living fully: "You can't expect to go through life without making any mistakes because you've never been through it before. So here's to being a teenager, and taking your best shot at what you've got." For adults, the challenge is to give Canada's young people the support they need, and then trust that they will give life their best shot.

"A growing proportion of young people in Canada were born in other countries. In Toronto, 30 per cent of youth are immigrants;" in Vancouver, it's 28 per cent. "In total, 11 per cent of Canada's youth aged 15 to 24 were born outside the country."
—The Progress of Canada's Children

Adolescence: The Survival Guide for Parents & Teenagers by Elizabeth Fenwick and Dr. Tony Smith. London: Dorling Kindersley, 1993.

All the Right Stuff, a National Film Board video. Available at public libraries, or from the NFB (ph 1-800-267-7710, website www.nfb.ca).

The Bibby Report: Social Trends Canadian Style by Reginald W. Bibby, Toronto: Stoddart, 1995.

Boomerang Kids: When Adult Children Return Home. This brochure is available for 70¢ from the BC Council for Families at 204--2590 Granville Street, Vancouver V6H 3H1 (fax 604-732-4813, e-mail bccf@istar.ca). In BC, call 800-663-5638 toll-free. From elsewhere, call 604-660-0675.

Canada's Children, Spring 1999, Child Welfare League of Canada. Lee Mitchell, "Youth justice: Where Are We Headed?"
Bill Ryan, "Creating Safe Spaces for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth."
Sharon Visitor, "National Association of Friendship Centres Aboriginal Youth Council."

Canadian Social Trends, Statistics Canada, Catalogue No. 11-008. Spring 1999: Monica Boyd and Doug Norris, "The Crowded Nest: Young adults at home."
Summer 1999: Kathryn Stevenson, Jennifer Tufts, Dianne Hendrick and Melanie Kowalski, "Youth and Crime."

Caring Canadians, Involved Canadians: 1997 National Survey of Giving, Volunteering and Participating, Minister of Industry, 1998.

The Progress of Canada's Children 1998: Focus on Youth, Canadian Council on Social Development, 1998. Contact CCSD Publications, 441 MacLaren, 4th floor, Ottawa K2P 2H3 (ph 613-236-8977, fax 613-236-2750, e-mail publications@ccsd.ca).

Queer Kids: The Challenges and Promise for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Youth by Robert E. Owens Jr. Binghampton, NY: Haworth Press, 1998.

Squeeze magazine ("By teens, for teens"), Issue #1. www.squeezemagazine.com.

Teen Dads: Rights, Responsibilities and joys by Jeanne Warren Lindsay, Buena Park, CA: Morning Glory Press, 1993. This book is available for $12.50 from the BC Council for Families (see above).

Teen Trends: A Nation in Motion by Reginald W. Bibby & Donald C. Posterski, Stoddart, Toronto: 1992.

Understanding Your Teen: a Canadian Living Family Book, ed. Christine Langlois. Toronto: Ballantine Books, 1999.

Youth at Work in Canada, Canadian Council on Social Development, 1998. To order, contact CCSD (see above).

If you can revisit the wonder of childhood, you can taste genius

—author unknown

In the city of my childhood, life was about getting along with people and looking out for one another. Life in Tyneside, England, meant celebrating and grieving together, borrowing and lending, arguing and making up. People recognized the community as one of the few things that belonged to them, and it gave them a sense of family beyond the family. In a simple yet industrious way, they raised their children and helped to raise their neighbours' children. Closely bound together by values, traditions and experiences, they did for others, and served the community without giving it a thought.

The community of my childhood seemed to allow young people a place to participate, to feel needed and to grow. We were raised by "the village" and felt we had a role to play in the raising of that same village. Children were expected to take an active role in caring for the sick, the elderly and the young. We ran errands for other families on the street, delayed our dreams, made sacrifices, told stories, and played outside until dark. And, as we played, we knew there were many caring eyes watching over us.

I am not pleading for a return to a 1950s/60s golden age-the "good old days" that some argue never existed. My childhood community was far from perfect and, overall, today's children may be better off. And yet, alarm bells go off in my head when I consider their exposure to the daily dramas unfolding on the evening news, and the amount of time they spend in the isolation of television and the oxymoron known as "interactive technology." My concern is heightened by the high incidence of childhood poverty, the prevalence of family breakdowns, and the diminishing amount of time parents spend with their children. But, as long as our society believes "kids have never had it so good," there will be no alarm bells, only a dangerous complacency.

If young people are to feel they are an integral part of their communities, they must first be comfortable in their own homes. They need a nurturing family environment—a place where they have a sense of belonging, with someone looking out for them. They also desperately need unprogrammed time with caring adults. (Time in the car being chauffeured to activities or friends at the other end of the city doesn't really count.) They should not be spending most of their waking hours taking care of themselves, or living in "the passive wasteland of television" (as child expert James Garbarino calls it), or being shaped by schools and other institutions.

To feel connected to a community, children must see adults, preferably their own relatives, building that same community. It is hard for kids to know their neighbourhood when their parents hardly know, let alone trust, the neighbours. To simply blame the kids who disrespect their schools, institutions and neighbourhoods is folly if they have no models for community involvement.

My old neighbourhood included the front street, the back lane and the soccer field. It had a corner store at the bottom of the street. These were meeting places where young people gathered to play, exchange news, get into mischief and share their secrets. We could walk to a friend's house, or spend time in private places such as tree houses and forts. The street was an extension of the livingroom and we prided ourselves on dreaming up countless activities to play there. In the community where my children now live, it is illegal for them to play hockey on the street.

The new village green is the mall, where people can meet on the condition that they are prepared to purchase. As for community sports facilities and parks, the ones that appear to get the most use are those in low-rent housing projects, even though they are usually poorly maintained. At a project close to my home the basketball courts are filled to overflowing, yet state-of-the-art facilities in middle-class suburbs sit idle because the parents are fearful of sending their children outside.

Children need the consistent presence of their parents and other caring adults in their lives. Parents must make time, time and more time to be with their children. A child's most precious childhood memories will not be about time spent alone at the computer, but rather times spent at play with the family. The message is simple but critical: extend the playtime, decrease the isolation and celebrate the time spent together.

Adults should be taking children where television cannot: out into their yards and neighbourhoods, to feel, touch, smell and experience the world. When given the choice, children will not always choose the outdoors over a video game, but once outside they thrive, especially when their parents join them in play.

Many parents are quick to acknowledge that they don't spend enough time with their kids, but they feel powerless to do anything about it. To them, the culprit is the workplace and the demands of balancing family life with sales quotas, quarterly reports and deadlines.

Governments can help by creating incentives for businesses with family-friendly policies, by using media messages to inform parents about the consequences of absentee parenting, and by reducing the poverty that forces many parents out of the house in order to make ends meet.

Business leaders can do more for their communities than just doling out money. The same innovation and initiative that entrepreneurs put into products and profits can be directed towards social entrepreneurship. The first priority is to implement family-friendly policies and practices to make it easier for employees to balance the responsibilities of work and home. Businesses can also donate human resources and in-kind services to community causes, and lobby governments on behalf of the community. They can influence community life and values through positive advertising messages, and by boycotting advertising that exploits children.

The United Nations' Convention on the Rights of the Child contains a powerful statement that speaks to children having the right to a voice in decisions that affect their lives. This important, but mostly invisible, document could be used as a lobbying tool to support the social inclusion of our young people but, in Canada, there are few people ready to speak out on behalf of children. Where are the champions of their cause?

Many children and youth want to be involved in determining how their communities work. They are interested in evaluating the institutions and systems that affect their lives, but their participation is for the most part discouraged. Sometimes they can't even get in the door! In education, child welfare, health care and social services, their opinions are rarely solicited. Why do we feel so threatened by the notion of young people evaluating and accrediting schools, children's hospitals, and charities that claim to service children?

People with power do not always want to share it. They tend to be particularly resistant to sharing power with young people, regarding them as inexperienced, disinterested and lacking in the practicalities. Leaving aside the fact that this description could be applied to many adults, children and youth often know more about technology, the environment, municipal and national affairs than their parents. This might have something to do with their access to television and computers, or maybe it's just that their eyes and minds are more open than those of adults. Whatever the reason, if they have the information, why shouldn't they be encouraged to use it?

Many community organizations think they're being "child-friendly" if they book the local children's choir to sing while the adults natter, or if they have kids at the door greeting people. When the real business is about to take place, the children are asked to leave. Most kids see through this kind of treatment but have no choice but to ride it out until they grow up.

Even children's charities tend to patronize the constituency they serve. Young people are often happy to do the "dog-and-pony show"—many revel in it—but they are capable of so much more. It would be interesting to know how many youth, if any, sit on the boards of charitable groups. Admittedly it's hard to find and keep the special kind of adult worker who can make community development with young people happen, as they must be highly committed, know how to strategize and be able to relate to youth. The other barrier to more involvement of youth volunteers is the fear that kids may be a liability—a fear that ignores the fact that 33% of Canadian youth aged 15 to 24 already devote, on average, 125 hours a year to community work.

According to a recent national survey on volunteering, this age group would gladly do more, if asked. Let's consider creating opportunities that will help young people understand and appreciate the values of human dignity, character and citizenship. Let's give them access to a "curriculum for caring" that teaches them about the broader community in which they live, helps them develop empathy for others and provides a sense of their own capacity to improve the lives of those around them.

Community-service programs offering high school credits are win-win situations for everyone. If more church groups, charities and community organizations would form partnerships with schools, they could ensure that, rather than just being "make-work" programs, these would be learning initiatives planned, developed and implemented by youth and adults together. And if every charity in Canada were expected to carry out one activity or event managed by young people, both groups would learn about the true meaning of civic engagement.

If every sector of society benefits from citizens who are caring, competent and literate, then it follows that very individual has a direct personal stake in seeing that all children are able to achieve their full potential. The commonly held notion that institutions, particularly schools, can raise our children and youth and attend to all their problems and needs is at best misleading and at worst irresponsible. Programs that increase the involvement of parents and others in school life must be instituted or expanded.

In government, young people generally do little more than deliver mail and carry water to politicians. Governments need to consider mechanisms to encourage their meaningful inclusion in governing. This might include youth councils with both advisory and real powers to review decisions that directly relate to their lives, to keep politicians apprised of current and emerging issues, and to remind government of the many accomplishments of youth. As well, politicians could provide youth-internship positions to allow young people to participate in constituency and government business, and to meet regularly as a group.

Young people are often viewed simplistically as the beneficiaries of services or the perpetrators of problems. This view fails to recognize that they are, first and foremost, citizens, with the right to participate in civic matters within the bounds of their capacities. As we move into a new millennium, let us try to glimpse a future where young people might vote at age 16, participate in political issues at all levels, and have a strong voice in education, health care and child welfare. And let us hope that kids can go into stores without being treated as "the enemy," that retail and tourism services will employ them as ambassadors, and that institutions will see the value of youth mediation programs to resolve conflict.

Childhood is the time to bestow on children the skills and values of the human community in which they live. Without this endowment, many will become a lasting burden on their families and communities. Programs like Child & Youth Friendly Ottawa can help, but such programs cannot be imposed on people. Rather, the various sectors of the community have to come together in support of kids. If we think our kids are relevant, and if we truly care about our future and theirs, we should be working towards making them equal partners in shaping that future. Given the chance, every child has something to say and to contribute, so why do we put this rich resource on hold, letting it wither within until the child is no longer a child? What a waste!

David Millen is Executive Director of Child & Youth Friendly Ottawa (CAYFO), an organization that recognizes the skills, talents and abilities that are often overlooked in young people. CAYFO is attempting to create opportunities for youth to engage in partnerships that might lead to healthier and safer communities. For more information, see www.cayfo.ca, or call 613-244-3803.

The family, traditionally, has been the primary socializer of children, with its role amplified and extended by the school, the place of worship, and the larger community. The Twentieth Century has introduced other powerful players on the "socialization scene." For the last several decades, television has been so influential in purveying social values and shaping children's notions of the world that it has been dubbed the "third parent." And now, newer media-especially computers, the Internet, and video games-play such an important role in their lives that today's youth cannot even imagine getting by without them.

Here we present a short adaptation of a new paper by Arlene Moscovitch on electronic media and their impact on Canada's children and families.

There's no doubt that media encounters are an inescapable part of everyday family life. TVs flicker in kitchens and bedrooms; children's thumbs flash as they careen through the latest video game landscape; and parents and kids use the computer for budgeting and banking, e-mail and e-commerce, homework and games, Internet surfing and chat-room conversing. Music pours out of radios, CD players and tape recorders; and teens tote cell phones and pagers so their parents can stay in touch with them.

Just a decade ago, television was still referred to as the electronic hearth, a focal point around which the family clustered to take in the latest stories. These days, however, family members are more likely to be hunkered down in front of their own individual blazes as television viewing becomes an increasingly solitary activity. With two and three TV sets in a household, there's less communal watching than there used to be. About half of all children usually watch TV alone, or with friends, rather than with their family. (The same can be said for playing video games and even more so for computer use.)

With the average Canadian spending about three hours a day in front of the TV set, and adolescents aged 12-17 spending two-and-a-half hours daily, the question arises: what are family members not doing while they're parked in front of the screen? While answers vary with the individual family, certain patterns are obvious:

One in three Canadian households now has a computer, and parents of 12-to-17-year-olds are the typical owners. Within their plugged-in homes, children and youth seem to be in the digital vanguard. In a 1997 survey, Ekos Research Associates found that the highest concentration of Internet users was in the under-25 age bracket. The lowest was in the 65+ group.

Parents tend to regulate children's computer use less than their television viewing, partly due to the computer's perceived educational value ("It will help them get ahead"), and partly because most adults are not nearly as computer-literate or Internet-savvy as their offspring.

In Growing Up Digital: The Rise of the Net Generation, Don Tapscott maintains that, for the first time in human history, children are the "knowledge authorities" in a crucial area, passing on cultural information and skills to their parents. A technological optimist, he believes this alteration in the usual balance of power will encourage "more of a peer dynamic within families and, if managed well by parents, can create a more open, consensual and effective family unit."

Tapscott also believes that, while television was the medium that shaped the lives of the Baby Boom generation, their children will increasingly opt for more interactive media experiences. Parents in nearly two-thirds of American households that own a personal computer report that, because of the computer, their children are watching less TV.

Stephen Kline, a communications professor at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia, studied the video gaming habits of 650 young people aged 11-18. He found that:

Parents and teachers often comment that "kids become absolutely wired" when absorbed in video games. Now, there's a scientific study that confirms that observation. In a study conducted at Hammersmith Hospital in London, Dr. Paul Grasby and his fellow researchers determined that playing video games triggers the release of dopamine in the brain. In fact, dopamine production doubles during video game play. The increase of this psychoactive chemical is roughly the same as from an injection of amphetamines or Ritalin. This is the first hard evidence that playing video games is addictive—"the equivalent of a dose of speed."

The fact that our televisions, computers and video games have calculable physical and psychological effects on our nervous systems, regardless of their content, is a finding that has not been lost on corporations that market children's products. Satachi and Satachi hired child psychologists and cultural anthropologists to probe children's feelings and behaviour while using interactive media. Their studies found that children can easily be put into a "flow state," a trance-like, "highly pleasurable experience of total absorption" when on-line. An understanding of children's neurophysiological responses has shaped on-line marketing campaigns directed at children as young as four years of age.

The Center for Media Education's 1998 research report Alcohol and Tobacco on the Web: New Threats to Youth has found that:

To date, more than 3000 studies have been done on the effects of television violence on children. In 1995, Dr. Wendy Josephson was asked by the Department of Canadian Heritage to review the major studies and categorize the effects of television violence on children. She concluded that children who are exposed to media violence:

Of course, it would be a mistake to focus only on media violence without paying attention to the culture as a whole. More than violent media, real-life experience with violence, poverty, abuse or neglect is a very powerful determinant in turning children into violent adults.

How do kids feel about the news they see on TV? When the U.S.-based advocacy organization Children Now surveyed 850 young people aged 11-16 in 1994, they found that:

What happens when electronic technologies are introduced into the home? Do they bolster or impede interaction among family members? Bring them together or drive them apart? Obviously, that depends on how people use them. More and more people over 55, for instance, are connecting to the Internet, as they realize that e-mail allows them constant contact with their children and grandchildren, no matter where they live. On the other hand, there are also tales of families being severely disrupted by the Internet addiction of one of the parents or children.

One thing is certain: parents need to help their children become discriminating media users. Children may be very familiar with media content, but that doesn't necessarily imply any critical awareness of what the content means. Teaching one's children to be savvy media consumers is as much a part of parenting these days as teaching them other basic skills.

This article is adapted from a longer paper by Arlene Moscovitch, entitled "Electronic Media and the Family." The paper, recently published by The Vanier Institute of the Family as part of its Contemporary Family Trends series, is available in English or French. For more information about this publication [ click here ].

Arlene Moscovitch is a writer, media educator and media producer. She was a consultant and writer for "Prime Time Parent" (Alliance for Children and Television), and co-director/writer of "Media and Society" and "Constructing Reality" (NFB).

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